Daughters
by Caitlynnn
Summary: When tragedy takes hold of Clare, leaving Eli and his daughter Scarlett to fend for themselves, how will things turn out in the end if they are both broken?


**My father kind of inspired this one. I'm sorry if it's terrible. But this is completely based on my life one-hundred percent.**

**I do not own Degrassi. I also do not own Daughters by John Mayer**

_I know a girl she puts the colors inside of my world. _

_And she's like a maze; all of the walls are continually changed. _

_And I've done all I can to stand on the steps with my heart in my hands_

They were both two broken people with broken dreams with broken families. They had met each other, and fell in love.

If they believed in love. Both were unsure, but the way they felt about each other was different. It felt right and uncomfortable. But that's what they believed what love is:

Getting out of your comfort zone, fully exposing yourself to either be completely hurt, or fully loved.

After highschool Eli had gone into freelance writing, Clare was still a senior.

Degrassi had gone through some drastic things. Everyone that attended that school went through some drastic things there. After Clare graduated, they had gotten married, they both had wanted it.

After marriage they settled down for a year, enjoyed being together, both stitching each other up.

After Julia, Eli was so sure he's never find love. His first love, his first heartbreak, had died.

Clare and Eli were both still damaged, and at the time, ill-tempered. At many times in their relationship they both wanted to call it quits. Whenever they were about to confront each other about a divorce, they would look into each others eyes, and fall back in love. No matter what. They needed each other more than they thought.

Another year passed, Clare was pregnant, and in labor. She had been in labor for about an hour. Eli stood outside the door while they sedated Clare. He couldn't be a dad. He's mess up for sure.

It was hard enough to take care of Clare. He loved her with all the love he had. He would do anything for her. He would go as far as die her. He hated the fact that she was hurting, and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Now I'm starting to see, maybe its got nothing to do with me…_

As he paced back in forth around the hospital Clare was ready. Ready to have the baby. They had thought about names, but never agreed on one. They had no idea if it was a boy or girl, they wanted to be surprised.

Eli walked into her room, and held her hand. During the whole thing, she had cursed and screamed at him the entire time. He knew all of it was true, but she wasn't thinking straight.

It was a girl.

Eli wiped the sweat off of Clare's face, her breathing was jagged and rough. Clare had gone limp, completely worn out. So the nurse gave after quickly cleaning off her, gave her to Eli.

He had no idea what to do. She was small, and so tiny. Like the slightest of moves and she would break. Her arms and legs were so small. She was throwing a fit. He looked at the nurse terrified.

Oh God, he thought, she hates me.

Some people say the first person who holds and loves the baby have an instant bond. He stared at her, shocked. How could he love someone so tiny?

_Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do. _

_Girls become lovers who turn into mother. So mothers be good to your daughters, too. _

Adam and Fiona had arrived at the hospital. Eli had given the baby to Clare, he walked out, and Clare watched him. He was in way over his head. He had no idea what to do. He was no good. He was going to be a terrible father. What if he messes up? What if she runs away? All because of him.

It was about four in the morning, Eli went over to the cafeteria. Nurses were on their break, he had gotten himself a cup of coffee and sat down.

Adam walked in, and saw his best friend. "I know that face." He grumbled. He went over to Eli smacking him on the back. "Congrats baby daddy." He laughed. Eli laughed with no humor. "Shhh, keep it down Jackass." He rolled his eyes and put his head in his hands.

"What's wrong?" Adam said, sitting down, taking a sip of Eli's coffee. "Freaking nasty. You drink it black? Gross, bro."

Eli was annoyed. "You came here to talk to me about coffee?" He wasn't thinking straight. Everything was starting to piss him off.

The nine months of no sleep, nine months of Clare bickering at him. It was starting to finally take its toll on him. "No, I've seen that face before. Spill it Goldsworthy." Adam said.

"I'm going to fail as a father." He told him bluntly. "The kid is going to hate me." He said.

**Fourteen years later.**

_Oh, see that skin? It's the same she's been standing in _

_Since the day she saw him walking away now she's left cleaning up the mess he made._

It had happened a few years ago, when Scarlett was ten. They were driving back from the movies, and Eli had taken his anxiety pills and anti-depressants. The dosage was a little bit higher than normal, and he was more loopy.

Clare insisted on driving, but Eli, being stubborn wouldn't let her. He had driven out of the parking lot, Scarlett was in one of those moods were she didn't want to talk to anybody. She had always been like that since she was born.

It was nearly twelve, they saw the late showing, Scarlett had fallen asleep in the back of the car, and Eli didn't see it coming, but a drunk driver was swerving out of control and hit them.

Just in time, Eli flung himself into the back seat, holding on to Scarlett. She would have died. When the cars collided, Eli had remembered. Clare.

She died instantly.

Now, Eli sitting on his couch, was waiting for Scarlett to get home from school. Out of all his regrets, losing Clare was his biggest. He had tried to commit suicide, but Scarlett had walked in right before he was about to overdose on his pills.

Ever since then, things hadn't been the same. He was trying to be the best father he could be, but the pain was all over again. He would wake up every morning feeling the same level of guilt when Julia died. It was all his fault. And there was nothing he can do about it…

"Hey," Scarlett walked in the door. She put her backpack by the coat hanger, and ran upstairs in a hurry. "Scarlett?" Eli called. Something was off. He could tell when something was off with his daughter. They had shared the same mind. They always though they didn't need anybody but themselves.

He put his papers down and called out her name again. No answer. "Damnit kid." He said getting up and going up the stairs.

Scarlett was strong. At least that's what she told herself.

_So fathers be good to your daughters. Daughter will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers. So mothers be good to your daughters too._

He knocked on her door. She didn't respond. This was the time where he needed Clare the most. Their relationship had always been strained. Scarlett and Eli were both broken.

Scarlett meant the world to him. He was intent not to lose her. He opened the door to find her curled up into a ball. She didn't want him to see her cry. She quickly hid her face. She was fragile. This moment brought him back to the day at the hospital.

"Hey," He said sitting at the edge of her violet bed. She cleared her throat. Her mascara was running. He used his black long sleeve to remove some of it off her cheek.

"What's wrong kid?" He asked her looking down not wanting to offend her. "Do you really not know what today is?" She snapped at him. He was taken aback. "I remember." He said, mumbling. "Then why are you acting like nothing happened?" She whispered.

He was asking himself the same question. He felt numb. He felt nothing.

"I don't know why," He told her blunt. She shook her head. Her dark brown curls were in the way of her eyes. She had her father's looks, Clare's hair, and smile.

Her vulnerability was from Clare, but her stubborn side was from Eli.

"Then figure it out." She said, getting up. "Wait," He said, staring out her window. She looked at her father. "Sit," He said. She sat down next to him.

"I love your mom," He started. "But just because she died doesn't mean you should stop living." He mumbled.

_Boys you can break, you'll find out how much they can take. _

_Boys will be strong, boys soldier on. Boys will be gone without warmth from a woman's good good heart._

She looked at him, and for once finally saw the pain in her fathers eyes. He would always look at her like that. For a really long time she always felt like…she wasn't loved.

"Can I ask you something?" She said, looking down, embarrassed. "Ask away." He said. This was awkward. She hated having conversations like this.

"Was I a mistake?" She asked him. He laughed with no humor and sighed. "Why do you ask?" He looked at her. She was looking in the distance. "Because sometimes, I feel like… I feel like you don't love me." She admitted.

He looked down, the guilt starting to sink in again. He knew he was a terrible father.

"Scar, I love you more than you know." He whispered. "Then why don't you ever show me?"

He sighed. "Because I don't know how."

She rolled up her sleeves. She showed him scars on her arms. "What are these?" He asked her. "I cut." She told him. Looking down. There was a fresh one.

She looked down, feeling exposed, and dirty.

He wanted to cry, he felt like he was breaking. "Why?" He said tracing each cut. He looked at her face, and saw a ling from the corner of her lip and up her cheek bone.

"Did you do this too?" He said lightly touching it. She nodded, a tear strolling down her cheeks. He pulled her into him.

"Because I miss her. It was my only way to let the anger out. I didn't want to bother you." She said. She was trying to keep her composure, but it was pointless.

Her heart was heavy. So was Eli's.

_On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the guide _

_And the weight of her world. _

_So father be good to your daughters, daughter will love like you do. _

_Girls become lovers who turns into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters, too. _

"As your dad, it's my job to be here for you. You can come to me for anything. Okay?" He said, kissing her forehead. She cringed. "Sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked anxiously. She shook her head. "No, you didn't." She said, as she for once, finally felt safe.

Eli embraced this moment. He missed Clare, he thought about her everyday. But, there was nothing he can do to bring her back. He knew that. So, he promised, he would do whatever it takes to make sure his daughter, the only thing Clare left was safe. Because that's all he can do…

_So mothers be good to your daughters too… _

_So mothers be good to your daughters too. _

**Review…It would make my day…and make me think this didn't completely suck. Haha..**


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